Have you every heard of a miracle or saw an angel, well I have and his name was Tyler James.
This little boy was a miracle that he was even conceived. His Daddy and Mommy talk long and hard about having another baby. They already had two boys and thought it would be nice to have a little girl.
So finally the decision was make and his Daddy had a reverse surgery and this was in May 1990 and doctor said 50/50 chance of having a baby, but in January 1991 the phone rang and his mommy was on the other end telling me I am going to have a baby come September. What surprise and joy it was for all.
So begun the long wait watching his mommy grow with this little miracle. On September 25, 1991 our little miracle our littlest angel Tyler James was born, with lots of dark hair and blue eyes the cutest little guy you ever did see. No little girl, but what the heck he was a keeper.
This little miracle would touch so many lives in the short time he was to be here with us. His Mommy and Daddy, his brothers, his aunts, Connie, Ruth, Rosie and his Uncle Albert just to name a few that he would touch with his special smile and love.
He especially touch me, my heart my soul with his special smile his eyes and most of all the love that just seem to flow from him. It was if he knew a secret we didn't and he would just smile that smile of his with the wisdom of and old man.
I recall a time when he was in his mommy arms and he wanted my attention and so he reach out and pinch my breast, and he got the biggest look of surprise on his face when he got my attention and his mommy and me just started to laugh with merriment at what he had done. He gave us a look that said what so funny which make us laugh all the more, or the time we had a clown come to his oldest brother birthday party we thought cause he was so young he be scare but instead he was so fascinated by the clown and we all got a big kick out of the way he kept staring at the clown.
How were we to know with all the joy he brought us that he was only here for a short time, seven months to be exact. On April 26, 1992 our little miracle our littlest angel went home to heaven to be with God. He died of Sudden Infant Syndrome (SID). One minute he was here with us and the next he was gone.
In that instant time stood still, life would never be the same again. So many hearts broken into pieces. Him mommy and daddy who had wanted him so bad devastated by the lost, his brothers one grieving in silent and the other asking will I go to heaven next. His aunts who had adored him, Connie who was to hold him for the last time not knowing, what morning was to bring. His Aunt Rosie and Uncle Albert who's tears show the world their grief and sorrow. My grief and sorrow it was so deep that could only walk through each day hoping I was only dreaming. This little fellow had touch me so deeply His look, his smile and the love that flow from him all gone but for memories. I didn't know if I could go on getting through the arrangement, visitation, and the funeral and then going on with life just didn't seem to be a purpose any more.
But life does go on and our miracle our angel Tyler James is sadly miss every day, but now time has ease some of the pain and we can now talk of him and remember all the love, joy and memories he bought each and every one us while he was with us.
In Memory of Tyler James Lustey. He would be 13 this year 2004.
BUTTERFLIES AND DANDELIONS
There once was a little girl, who was blue eyed and blonde, and she like to run and jump in meadows and fields chasing butterflies and dandelions. Then her world was to change, her mommy was to meet a man and marry him. The little girl was thrill she was to have a new daddy, as it had been several years sense her real daddy had left. She ran to tell the butterflies and dandelions.
The little girl would learn many lessons from this man. Lessons of disappointment he would teach her criticism instead of praise, he would teach her hugs and kisses were a black leather belt and slaps, he would teach her love was anger and resentment, she was taught that to spare the rod was to spoil the child, that children should be heard and not seen, but the most valuable lesson would be to teach her fear and it would become her constant companion for a long time to come. She knew now she couldn't chase butterflies and dandelions for the fear the man would know.
Now the little girl is a young girl on the threshold of womanhood. There is a boy he so sweet to her he hold her hands and whispers sweet words in her ears and she think she know' s love. For the first time in a long time there is words of praise and hugs and kisses and the young girl is fill with joy. So she let the boy touch her in secret places and this will become their secret and for a while only the butterflies and dandelions will share that secret.
But the secret doesn't last, for her sister will tell the secret to the man and the man will become very very angry. He will throw the young girl through a wall, he will beat her till she is black and blue, he will call her all kinds of vile names and she will know shame for the first time. The worse will be that she had known fear before, but now she will fear, fear itself. She knows that not even the butterflies and dandelions can help her now.
The young girl is so hurt, what has she done that was so bad, she tell a friend hoping that the friend has answers. But the friend will ask her mother the same questions later in the day and the friend mother will tell the young girl mother and she will tell the man. The young girl will be beaten again and this time the young girl will learn another lesson tell no secrets not even to the butterflies and dandelions.
Now the young girl is a women and through the years she has felt pain, sorrow, despair, heartache, loneness and most of all her constant companion fear. She hate all these things and she want more then this. For so long she hasn't felt she belong any where. Then at twenty-two her prayers will be answered she will meet a man who will become her mate. He will become her salvation. He will teach her love instead of hate, anger and resentment. He will teach her praise instead of criticism, he will stand besides her and support her in all she will do. This man will love her unconditionally. In time the little girl in her will be finally at peace and she will again be able to chase butterflies and dandelions.
Author Ruth Hokanson
BLESSINGS
There is a saying that when God closes one door he open another one.
I have to say I never really thought much about it till now. I have to say I do believe that exactly what he does every day.
I have come to believe that he has a purpose for everything we do. For all the people who enter and leave our lives there is a reason.
It took a lot of prays and opening of and closing of doors before God gave me my husband George and what a blessing he has been from the first. He will always be my most special angel send to me.
When he took my mother to heaven he close a door and he open another one by placing two special women in my path in a time when I needed two ladies. Weda who has become a wonderful second mother to me. Sandy for the big sister she has been to me. These are God angels send to me to help me down the right path he has chosen for me.
When God closed the door on my childhood and how I was raised my stepfather, he open another one later in life by bringing into my life a wonderful, caring older man Pete who would show me what the true meaning of fatherhood really was. Another angel of God and one I am forever grateful too.
When God show us there wouldn't be any children in our lives he closes a door but open another one when Tyler James came along. He was a blessing from the first day I laid eyes on him. He has always been my very special angel send from above and who is now at home with God again.
When some no longer believe in me and what I believe in God closed a door and he open another one with some very special people Sharon, Daphne, Dottie, Pat, Marie, Patsi and so many more. They became my confidant, my close, trusted special friends more angels bless by God.
I know that through my life God has closed and open lots of doors and some have bought very special people into my life and others who God knew didn't belong. I know that God will closes and open other doors for me. I will always try to thank him for all the blessings he has given me.
So remember when God closes a door and you don't understand why, just listen and you will hear him open another door for you. So don't question why just be thankful he is there to open and closes doors for you and that he is bringing blessings into your life every day.
Author Ruth Hokanson
I HAVE A COLD
I HAVE A COLD
I FEEL OLD
MY NOSE SO RUNNY
I'M NOT REAL SUNNY
MY EYES ITCH
WHAT A STITCH
I GOT A FEVER
I ACHE EVEN
I'M SO STUFFY
I GET SO HUFFY
I CAN'T BREATHE
THEY SAY THIS IS A BREEZE
I CAN'T THINK
BRING ME TO THE BRINK
MY MIND IS FOGGY
I GET SO GROGGY
THIS IS NO FUN
THIS COLD I COULD LEND
MAYBE TO KEN
JUST TO BORROW
OH WELL MAYBE NOT, I HOPE I FEEL BETTER TO TOMORROW
This one was written for a special friend, Sharon.
I Have A Friend
I have a friend and her name is Hope
she has always given me hope that tomorrow would be a better day
I have a friend and her name is Joy
she has always brought so much joy into my life by being my friend
I have a friend and her name is Charity
she always gives of herself as a friend and that is where charity begins
I have a friend and her name is Faith
She has always had faith in me and stood by me through thick and thin
I have a friend and her name is Constance
she has always been a constant friend to me. She has picked me up at my lowest and been there at my highest. She has been a constant reminder in my life that she is my friend.
I have a friend and her name is Sharon and I can't ever put in to words how much Sharon means to me. She has given me Hope, Joy, Charity, Faith and Constance and much more in the time I have known her. She, I pray, will always be my friend.
I wrote this about my sister Linda and son Steven.
A Mother and Her Son
He is fourteen so young
She his mother as young as he is in may ways
He has far to go
She has a shorter distance then he
He look at his mother with love
She look at him with a mother love
He see so many new things
With her so many old things
He wants to think of all that is to come
She want him to just to think
He will be grown not long from now
She wants him to stay fourteen for a little longer
She understands he has to move on
He think you have to let go soon
She think maybe just one more day before I let you go.
This was one of two I wrote about the death of my nephew Tyler at seven months of SIDS
Wish You Could Be Here
Today I whisper, wish you could be here
Today was a warm, sunny, pleasant day
Today all seem perfect, but for one thing
Today I said wouldn't it be nice to see your smile
Today I said wish you could be here
Today a hug would have been nice
Today I hear a bird sing and watch a rose bloom
Today I wish you were here to see these things too
Today how often I say I wish you were here
Today wouldn't it have been nice to see the sunrise and sunset together
Today wouldn't it have been nice to just sit and chat
Today I cry wish you could be here
Today I so much wanted to see your face
Today is now gone----Oh well maybe tomorrow
I sent my poem "Wish You Could Be Here" into a poetry contest and received a response that the Selection Committee has certified my poem as a semi-finalist in their International Open Poetry Contest. They also said that in celebration of the unique talent that I have displayed, they also wish to publish my poem in what promises to be one of the most highly sought after collections of poetry they have ever published. THE SILENCE WITHIN. They said my poem was selected for publication because of its unique perspective and my artistic vision. Recently I received my copy of the poetry book. I can't believe it!! I am so excited........ Ruth.
This is a poem my niece Evelyn wrote after the September 11th attack on New York City. She has submitted it to The New York Times hoping they will publish it so all of the New Yorkers and the country will know how much this tragedy touch her. I ask her if I could put in the newsletter and she was thrill that I had ask to do that. Evie is 15 and a freshman in Hastings High School and is my youngest sister Linda only daughter. She is name after my mother Evelyn Jean Lustey who pass away in August 1985. Evie a very pretty and bright young lady and she will go far in life. As her Aunt I am very proud of her and I can't think any other way to show my pride then to let every one know how talented this young lady is.
SORROW ONCE MORE
The sun was bright and high
Laughter was set flying through the air
Heads shot to the sky
As a shocking sound flew by
Silence filled the land
As they watched in horror
No helpful hand
Could be heard or stand
Peoples fears had been unleashed
No man could flee from death
As a cloud of ash came over like a sword being sheathe
In darkness filth
Buildings collapsed and hopes were dashed
Screams of sorrow came once more
Men were stashed
Behind, below, and underneath stores
Within minutes news had fled world wide
The world had crumbled beneath terrors right hand man
U.S. economically took a dive into a depressing tide
Families wept miles from where loved one's died
History will be haunted by that one moment of time
When the world stop for a second
And war had descended
At a blink of an eye
Though with terror brings hope
And America will once more stand
United together by the pope,
Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhist, and
All that is in between
America will not fall
Will not stop our lives
We will strive to live
Let us join once more
To destroy sorrow
And open the door to Peace.
Written by Evelyn Jean Roscoe
And Dedicated to the families who lost their loved ones on September 11. 2001
